Since we met
by Dutchy1992
Summary: When Henry brings Emma to Storybrook she meets a handsome Irish man at Granny's. Killian Jones. From the moment they meet Emma knows he's someone she can trusts. I decided to write what I would have liked to see if Killian was part of the characters from season 1. Lots of Captainswan fluffiness. Let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

I've been in Storybrook for a few days now. I've gotten arrested several times, kicked out of the inn and managed to insult my kid in just a few days. All in all it's not a great start. Yet I wouldn't dare to leave. Because today I finally connected with my kid. The child I gave up ten years ago. The child I didn't think I would ever see again. And today was the first time I got to hold him in my arms again. I was so worried Henry wouldn't want to see me anymore when he heard me talking to Regina. It scared me more than I thought it would. It's so strange… I've known him for just a few days, spend just a few hours with him yet I don't ever want to leave him ever again.

It's late at night and I'm sitting in Granny's diner, enjoying my hot chocolate. All I think about is Henry. There's a soft smile on my face and for the first time in years I can honestly say I'm somewhat happy.

'Excuse me?' I hear a guy with a heavy accent next to me. I look up and look at him. He's got dark hair, a scruffy beard and ocean blue eyes and is just very attractive. 'I'm sorry for bothering you', he says and scratches behind his ear. He's shy, incredibly so.

'That's okay', I try to relax him a little.

'It's just… I saw you walking around town with Henry and I heard people talking about you. You're Henry's real mother, right?'

'That's right', I answer him softly. Every time someone reminds me of giving up Henry I get a little sad.

'I'm Killian. And I just wanted to meet the lass who we've been fantasizing about', his cheeks flush immediately, 'about what you would be like, I mean.'

'I'm Emma. Emma Swan', I say laughing. He laughs a little with me.

'Do you mind if I sit down?'

'Not at all. How do you know Henry?' I'm curious about the people in his life.

'Thank you', Killian says as he sits down, 'I do volunteer work at the school. I found him in the school yard one day, upset about something. We talked about how unhappy he was living with the Mayor. And I felt bad for him. Just wanted to give him a friend he could talk to, where he could hide from everything.'

'That's very kind of you', I say softly. It hurt to know that Henry has been incredibly unhappy living with Regina, that he needs a grown up man to be his friend.

'He talks about you a lot', Killian tries to cheer me up a little, 'he wondered what you would be like. We both did, actually', again with the scratching behind his ear. It makes him even more attractive.

'Do I live up to your expectations?' I try to joke a little but deep down I'm actually curious to know if I didn't disappoint Henry.

'He just wanted someone who would love him', he says softly. Ouch. My kid has really been unhappy. He wasn't exaggerating the other day.

'He's been really lonely, hasn't he?' I ask Killian softly. Killian just nods.

'I really tried to help him. All the Mayor did was put him into therapy.'

'Can you tell me what he's like?' this time I'm the one who's shy. I look up at Killian and see the friendliest smile on his face. Damn, this man is gorgeous.

'He's so smart, Emma. And creative. He has this amazing imagination and whenever he's allowed to give in to that, he's so incredibly happy', his smile is radiant right now, 'we've been on some crazy adventours together. He's just really incredible.'

'Wow', I say and look down. Feeling my eyes water a little. That's my kid he's talking about. Suddenly I feel his hand on mine.

'And he never, ever blamed you one bit for giving him up', he almost whispers. That does it. A tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

'Thank you', I whisper back. Killian holds my hand for a few moments longer. With a squeeze he lets go.

'It's nice to meet someone who's so close to him', I say eventually.

'The whole town looks out for him actually. He walks around town alone a lot of the time so we're just making sure he's okay.'

'Well, I'll have to thank all of the people here than, won't I', we both chuckle.

'May I ask where you are from?' I look at Killian and realise I'm completely at ease. There's something about this man that makes me feel like I've known him forever. I tell him about my life. Not the horrible, bad stuff. But the normal stuff. We talk about work, Boston and just the regular things. He tells me thing about his life in Storybrook. The more I talk to Killian, the more I start to fall for his charms. Because he is very charming, at times very shy, very handsome and just extremely nice. He doesn't push me to tell him things, I just tell them because I want to. I feel like right now, only I matter. Before either of us realises it, it's very late and Granny asks us to leave.

'Do you mind if I walk you home?' he asks scratching behind his ear and looking down a little. Very, very cute.

'I don't really have a place to stay, actually. I'm staying in my car for now', he looks at me surprised, 'long story short: Regina made some new policy regarding ''criminals'' staying at the inn.'

'I really don't like that woman', he says with a hint of anger.

'Me neither. That's why I'm staying here. For Henry', I tell him softly. He smiles at me again.

'I'm so bloody happy he found you, Emma', he says with so much emotion in his voice that it shoots right into my heart.

'Me too. Good night, Killian', I say as I start to walk to my car.

'Good night. See you around, Swan', I'm surprised, look back and see him wink at me. So much for the shy guy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

And we have been seeing each other around. A lot. We've been drinking coffee together almost every morning, he was there when Henry was trapped in the collapsed mines, he was the first person I told when I became deputy and now he's here, too. Graham died. He died in my arms. After we kissed. And I'm numb. I can't believe this happened. How could a healthy, young man just drop dead?

'Emma?' I hear Killian next to me. We've been sitting in the hospital emergency room for hours. Graham was brought here but almost immediately declared dead yet I haven't been able to move.

'What?' I whisper hoarsly. The sobbing and screaming took a lot out of me.

'Do you want me to take you back home, love?' The thought of going home to Mary Margaret doesn't sound very appealing to me. She'll just hover, hug me and take care of me. She's amazing but not what I need, or want, right now.

'I don't want to go home', I say softly.

'What do you need, love?'

'You', I say as tears start to build again. I look him straight in the eye for the next part, 'I need my friend. I need you, Killian.'

'Of course. Come on, let me take you back to my place. You can stay there tonight, okay?' I nod and Killian takes my hand to help me stand up. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and guides out of the hospital and into the cold, cold night. It takes a little while before we're at Killian's house. I've never been there but heard about where he lives. At the docks. With a beautiful view over the harbor. The moment I step inside I feel at home. The house is warm, soft lighting all around. I look around and don't see a house of a single guy. This could be a house for a family. The lighting at day time will be gorgeous since there are so many windows surrounding the living room.

'You have a beautiful home, Killian', I admire softly.

'Thank you. Can I get you anything, Emma?'

'Can I borrow some clothes? Pj's, I mean', he nods and heads upstairs. I sit down on the couch and just look around. Trying not to think about what happened tonight. But it's not doing me any good. Tears slowly build again. And they slowly run down my cheeks. I don't even know if Graham and I really would've worked but he was the first guy to offer me some roots. Next to Mary Margaret he's the only one who helped me settle in Storybrook.

'I know they'll probably be way to big for you. But at least they're warm', he hands me some joggingpants and a sweatshirt.

'Where's the bathroom?'

'Up the stairs, directly to your left. I can make you some tea while you're changing? Or warm milk?'

'Can you make some hot chocolate?' I ask shyly. Not used to people taking care of me and willing to make me stuff.

'Of course, how could I forget? You lad talks about the preference in hot drink you share. Go on. The hot chocolate will be done when you get back', he walks with me to the stairs.

'Killian', I say as he walks away, 'thank you for this. I know it's a lot to ask.'

'You're very welcome, Emma. I will be there for you whenever you need me'. The sincerity in his voice makes me tear up a little. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say to me he's going to be there for me with so much truth behind his words. I nod and walk upstairs to the bathroom. His bathroom is just as beautiful as the rest of his house. He left a towel for me on the sink with a note on it: ''Take a shower if you like, don't worry or hurry. I'll wait up for you''. Killian can be so tough yet so incredibly caring. Suddenly a shower sounds heavenly. I strip my clothes off and turn the water on, as hot as I can stand. I probably cried all of my make up off by now so I just let the water run through my hair and down my naked body. There's still a hint of Killian's body wash in the shower cabin. It makes me incredibly calm. For a few minutes I forget about the world around me. I just focus on the scent that is so Killian. I think about how quickly our friendship grew. Within a few days I told him about my time in foster care. And he told me how he didn't have any family either. That his mother died and his father abandoned him. That his brother took care of him but he died a while back. We both found an understanding we've been lacking for years. We gave each other a home. Friends we never had. And it's been so nice. We hang out a lot. I found a safe place living with Mary Margaret but also with Killian.

'Swan? You okay in there?' I hear Killian knocking on the bathroom door.

'Yeah', I say softly. I zoned out completely.

'You've been in there a long time. Just wanted to make sure.'

'I'm done. I'll be downstairs in a minute', I say as I turn off the shower. I look at me hands and feet and see that my skin is completely wrinkled. I quickly put my wet hair up in a bun and put Killian's sweatshirt and jogging pants. They're way too big but soft and warm. I look in the mirror to check if there aren't any mascara marks around my eyes. When I'm okay with the way I look I head downstairs. Killian made a fire and is sitting on the couch.

'Hello, Swan. Come sit here', he pads the couch for me to sit next to him. As I sit down he hands me my hot cocoa. He even put whipped cream with cinnamon on it. I take a sip. Perfect.

'This is really nice', I say to him. He smiles and puts his arm around me.

'Do you want to talk, love?' he asks gently. I shrug.

'What's there to say. Graham… he died', I whisper. Killian pulls me a little closer. Clearly sensing there's more to that. 'He was so healthy. It's all my fault. I kissed him and he died. It's my fault', I keep whispering.

'Emma, look at me', he lifts my chin with his finger, 'this is in no way your fault. You didn't make him die.'

'But we kissed', I say again. 'And then he just fell to the floor.'

'You didn't kill him with your kiss, love. What did cost him his life, I don't know. But nobody ever died from kissing someone, aye?' I nod. It's a crazy thought anyway.

'I don't even know why I kissed him', I admit softly.

'You didn't fancy him?'

'I don't know. Mary Margaret said everyone can see Graham and I had feelings for each other. He obviously did for me. He kissed me yesterday evening. But I don't know if I felt the same for him.'

'How do you feel now?'

'I liked him. I don't think we would've worked, though. I don't think I had that kind of feelings for him', I admit softly. During out talk I leaned my head against his shoulder. Killian is slowly stroking my arm and holds me other hand in his. 'What I do know is that I miss him', I start to cry softly.

'Shh, I know, love. Romance or not, he was your friend', Killian sooths me. I nod my head. That he certainly was.

'He believed in me. That I was good for Henry. That's why he offered me the deputy job. He told me that a few days ago', I continue to cry softly.

'You are good for Henry. Don't doubt that', Killian just holds me close. Until my tears finally stop and I relax a little.

'I have to tell him', I realise suddenly. It's very late at night, Henry's been asleep for hours. He has no idea that Graham died.

'Not now. He's asleep. Tomorrow morning you can go to him', Killian brings me to reason.

'But…'

'No buts. Your lad needs his rest.' I nod again and lean back against Killian.

'Regina probably tells him in the morning'.

'He's gonna need you, Emma. He needs someone who shows him love and affection. Tomorrow you'll see him. You'll hold him and wipe away his tears. And maybe Regina does the same but it will mean more to him if you're there, too', I realise he's right.

'Thank you', for the first time tonight I initiate physical contact aswell. I wrap my arm around his stomach so I hold him too. That's how I fall asleep. Holding on to my best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Three days after Graham died, his autopsy is finished and he's cleared to be buried. Of course, Regina prevented me from having any say in his funeral. She arranged everything. I've been trying to see Henry as much as possible for the last few days but even that seems impossible. Regina is always there. Keeping me from Henry. Picking Henry up from Granny's when I'm with him. He's sad. He's down. And she does everything in her power to make sure I don't get to comfort him. I haven't been to the station either. All the emergency calls go directly to my phone. But somehow there hasn't been one call. The whole town seems down after Graham died. It shows just how much respect everyone had for him.

The night after I stayed with Killian I went back to Mary Margaret. I told her the truth. That I just wanted Killian that night. She understood and has been giving me some space. Unless I indicate that I want her company and care. I have a feeling she has talked to Killian. Because she doesn't ask any questions about what happened that night. But somehow she did know I kissed Graham. I don't have the energy to ask her about it.

Killian has been by my side every single day. He does get to comfort Henry since he works at the school. And Killian told me he has been telling Henry how badly I want to be with him. To take care of him. Henry said he knows. That he knows that Regina is keeping me away from him. Yesterday night I spend at Killian's again. I got scared knowing I have to go to the funeral today. I couldn't grasp the fact that I have to say my final goodbye just 5 days after Graham died. I slept next to Killian. Waking up every few hours from a nightmare. Killian held me close after my third nightmare in four hours. After that the nightmares disappeared and I slept relatively peaceful.

'I'll see you in an hour', Killian says as I get ready to go back to Mary Margaret to change. I nod, tears gathering in my eyes. Killian sees it and hugs me. I whisper a thanks in his ear. He just squeezes me a little tighter before we let go. We don't say anything as I leave his house. With a heavy heart I make my way back to Mary Margaret. Right now I actually feel like her company. I open the door and see her in the kitchen.

'Hi', I say softly.

'Hey, Killian called saying you were on your way. Do you want something to eat? Hot cocoa? Anything?', I smile as she rambles. It feels so nice that someone wants to take care of me.

'Some hot cocoa would be nice', I say and sit at the counter.

'Are you ready for today?' she asks tentively.

'Ready as I'll ever be', I sigh. 'Just gotta go through it, I guess'.

'I'll be there. Killian will be there. We'll be there for you, Emma', she says as she set the hot chocolate infront of me.

'Thanks', I say. The hot cocoa feels nice. It's clearly made with care and exactly the way I like it.

'I didn't know what you wanted to wear so I checked if you're black dresses were clean and ironed. I know you don't like it when I go through your stuff but I got itchy to do something. Anything, really, to pass the time. And…' I lay my hand on hers.

'It's fine. Thank you', she visibly sighs. I finish off my hot cocoa and head upstairs to get ready. After a quick shower I look at the dress laying in front of me. Black. Everything's black. My shoes, my dress. Even my panties and bra are black. I put my underwear on, do my make up and hair and finish the whole thing off with my dress and shoes. I look at the full length mirror. I look decent. It's difficult to say you look good when you go to a funeral. So decent has got to do right now. I grab my purse and coat and, together with Mary Margaret, we head towards Granny's.

Killian is already there. Dressed in dark jeans with black coat. When he sees me he immediately comes towards me. We don't need words to communicate. His eyes say so much. For a while we just look into each others eyes. And then we both lean in for a hug.

'You two…', I hear Mary Margaret whisper before she heads towards David.

'What was that for?' Killian asks confused. I shrug.

'Stay with me today?' I ask shyly. Never have I ever asked anyone to stay with me. To care for me.

'You didn't even need to ask, love', I manage a smile and head towards the counter. Slowly people gather at Granny's before we all make our way to the cemetary. People say kind words, there are people crying and we all say our last goodbye. During the ceremony, Killian holds my hand. I hold it together the entire time. I don't want Regina to think I'm weak. Before I know it the ceremony is over and it's time to lay Graham to rest. The coffin is slowly lowered into the ground. I look away. I always do when they come to this part. It's just cruel to watch the person who's layed to rest be put in the ground. People walk forewards one by one and throw a single red rose on the coffin. Killian and I go second to last. Only Regina stays behind with Henry. As I walk past Henry I ruffle his hair softly. He smile sadly at me and I try to smile back. A promise to see him later at Granny's.

'That's why you're good for Henry', Killian whispers in my ear as we walk away from the cemetary.

'What?' I ask confused.

'That ruffle of his hair? That smile? Shows him you care. That even though this is hard, there are still thing to smile about', he says. I smile at that. He's so right. And even now he makes everything a little better.

There are so many people at Granny's. It seems as if everyone in Storybrook got together to pay their respects to Graham. It takes a long time before Henry finally enters the diner. Alone.

'Emma!', he calls for me. He immediately jumps in my arms when he's with me.

'Hey, kid', I greet him lovingly. 'You okay?' He shrugs.

'He was my friend', he says sadly. Tears in his eyes.

'He was my friend, too. And that's why it's okay to miss him, Henry. It's okay to cry for him', I say softly.

'Mom said I had to be strong', he says with a shaky voice. His grief clearly taking a toll on him.

'Come here, kid', I say as I open my arms for him. He climbs onto my lap and start to cry softly against my shoulder. Finally, I get to comfort him. Like I've been wanting to do for days.

'Emma is right, lad. It's okay to be sad. And showing it is part of being a strong man', Killian says as Henry calms down. He beams at his words. It's clear as day that Killian is an important part of Henry's life. Henry moves off my lap and sits between me and Killian.

'How about some hot chocolate, aye?' Killian looks at me and Henry. We nod happily.

'Were is your mom, Henry?' I asks. He shrugs.

'I don't know. She dropped me off here. Said she had to be somewhere and be here aorund 5 to pick me up', he says.

'I'll stay until she does', I say firmly. Happy that Henry is next to me. Killian comes back with three hot chocolates and together we spend the rest of the afternoon together. Even though tragedy brought us together, being with Henry and Killian makes everything better. Even now. For a while I forget my sadness and even laugh when Henry says something funny. Killian was right. There are still things to smile about.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Right now I hate being sheriff. Finding the father of the two kids currently at Mary Margaret's place and hearing he doesn't want them, sucks. I try everything not to have them end up in the system. But the dad is clear, he never knew they excisted and now he doesn't want them either. It breaks something inside of me. When I leave the garage, I immediately head towards Killian's house. I knock on his door hard.

'Swan, to what do I owe the pleasure?' he says smiling.

'Save it', he immediately senses there's something not right.

'What's wrong?' he asks as I walk past him. I head towards the living room and drop on the couch.

'He doen't want them!' I yell angrily.

'Why don't you calm down a little and tell me what's happening, Swan.' I look at him, ready to lash out but the care in his eyes shut me up. His eyes also do what they always do: they calm me down. I take a couple of deep breaths, sit a little straighter and try to relax so that I can feel something.

'This morning, there were two kids shoplifting. I brought them home. Supposedly to where they were living with their parents. I sensed they were lying to me so I followed them. Turns out their mother is dead and their father left them. I took them with me to Mary Margaret and tried to find their father', I tell him calmly. Killian senses this is going to get hard on me so he sits beside me and holds my hand. 'Well, I found him. Didn't know they excisted, doesn't want the kids. Regina called me to her office. I have to drop them off in Boston tonight. At a group home. To make matter worse, they'll be separated. Something I promised that wouldn't happen', I say sadly. They're tears in my eyes. 'I can't do to them what everybody did to me. I can't give up on them. I can't put them in the system. I don't want them to end up like me', the first tear makes it's way down my cheek.

'Like what, Swan? What are you like?'

'Weak, broken, alone, unloved. Do you want me to go on', I say bitterly. Not understanding why I have to say this.

'That's odd… because I see a lass who is incredibly tough and caring and stong and loving. I see a fighter who gets what she wants. I see someone who is so easy to like if you give her time. I see a woman who people can look up to', he says firmly. 'Your time in the system may have been bad but it made you the incredible woman you are. And knowing you, Swan, you will keep them out of the system. You will convince their father to take them. They will not be alone', I slowly break during his speech. And by the end he gathers me in his arms. Tears stain his shirt and the only sound are my soft sniffles.

'I really needed that', I admit.

'I'll always be here for you. You have to believe in yourself, Emma. Because I do. Mary Margaret and Henry do too. We already know how amazing you are. And I know it's hard to think you're good enough. Sometimes I doubt I'm enough. Everybody doubts theirselves from time to time. The key is to snap out of that and believe you can do it.'

'Are you secretely a motivational speaker?' I laugh. I wipe my tears away. Killian laughs with me.

'And sometimes people need other people to tell them how amazing they are', he says smiling. 'And I'll happily do that every change I get.' The look in his eyes does something funny in my belly. Something I haven't felt before. I quickly brush it off.

'I'm really happy you're my friend', I say. After another 30 minutes of talking and laughing together I head back towards Ava and Nicolas.

Killian was right. Again. I did it. Ava and Nicolas are together and with their father. I'm so happy he took them in at the last minute. I also made me sad. If I ever would find my parents. And if they would want me. Everything from today also made me think about my time in the foster system. I just had to get out of the loft and be alone for a while.

I've been reading and staring at the news paper reports from the day a I was found at the side of the road. It's not fair. How could two people who were supposed to love me just leave me on the road like trash? At least I tried to give Henry his best change when I gave him up.

'Uh, what's that?' Speak of the little devil. I look to my right and see Henry standing there with a big goofy grin on his face.

'Just an old file', I close it and place it on my lap, 'What's up?'

'Pumpkin pie', he holds the box up proudly, 'I… I thought you'd like some', he's a little unsure of himself. And I feel a lot of guilt because I lied to him, 'It was pumpkin right?', he asks when I don't answer.

'Right', I gather my courage and get out of my car, 'Henry, about your father…', I'm so filled with guilt that I almost want to tell him the truth. But the sparkle and innocense in my kid's eyes stop me, 'I'm glad I told you', I try to smile.

'Me, too', he immediately wraps his arms around my waist and I emotion springs to my throat. I blink a few times and sigh before letting go of him.

'Give me that', I try to be cheerful. We start to eat the pie together. There's a sound of a motorcycle in the distance but in that moment I only pay attention to my son who's happily eating away at his pumpkin pie, obviously proud that he like something his dad liked. If only the story were true. Suddenly the motorcycle stops infront of us. The man takes of his helmet and approaches us with a smirk.

'Hi', he says, obviously flirting a little.

'Hey', I answer back.

'Is this Storybrook', he asks looking down at Henry. When I confirm he asks if he can get a room around here.

'Uh, you're staying', Henry's curiousity spikes.

'That's the plan. Just looking for a bed', he looks at me when he says it and I just want him gone that very second.

'Granny's Bed and Breakfast is just up the road, another two block', I say. He thanks us and walks back to his motorcycle. Who is this guy? 'Hey, I didn't catch your name', I try.

'That's because I didn't give it', he says smugly, gets on his motorcycle and drives away.

I turn towards Henry, 'I thought you said stranger don't come to Storybrook'.

'They don't', he's truly confused about what just happened.

'Well, this one came and will stay, big deal', I shrug, 'eat up, kid. I'll drop you off at home in a while'.

'I'm happy you helped Ava and Nicolas', he says smiling. There's pride shining in his eyes.

'Me too, kid. Killian told me I could do it. I guess he was right', I say softly. Out of the corner of my eye I see Henry smile knowingly. 'What?'

'You may not know it, but Killian is always right when it comes to you'.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I'm not sure you're ready', he finishes his pie and looks up at me with innocent eyes. I look at him a minute longer before I tell him we should get him home. As always, he doesn't want to but eventually we say goodbye.

After I dropped Henry off at his home I went to see Killian again. And now I'm standing on his doorstep and I hesistate to knock. Because if I tell him I lied to Henry he would want to know the true story.

'Were you ever going to knock, Swan', Killian says as he opens the door.

'God!', I yell startled, 'you scared me, you idiot', I playfully slap his arm as I walk past him.

'Saw you coming up the driveway ten minutes ago, Swan. Hot cocoa?'

'Something stronger, please', I sigh. He dissapears into the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

'Twice in one day, aye?' he hints for me to talk.

'The dad took them in', I say with a small smile.

'That's amazing, Swan!' he's looking very proud right now. When I don't smile back he knows there's more to tell. 'You look upset.'

'I lied to Henry today', I start to tell him. 'He asked about his father and I lied'.

'Do you want to tell me? You don't have to, you know that.'

'I know. I think I want to, though', I lay back on his couch and Killian puts my feet on his lap after he takes off my boots. 'I told him his dad was a hero. A fire fighter who died saving a family from a burning apartement building. But actually his dad doesn't know he exists because he got me in jail for a crime he committed. He stole watches, stashed them at a bus station in a locker and left them there. We fell in love and wanted to start somewhere fresh but didn't have any money. His face was still on the wanted signs so he couldn't get the watches. I offered to get them. Everything went smoothly. He went to sell them, gave one to me and told me to meet him at nine at our meeting point. You can guess he never showed. A cop did, though. Arrested me and I got eleven months. I found out I was pregnant with Henry in jail. The same day he sent me the keys to my bug.' I can only tell him the short version since the long version would be too much right now.

'Basterd!', Killian says with fury. 'How could he do that to you! You were only a child'.

'Killian, please', I beg him to calm down. I can't handle seeing him so mad and upset.

'I'm sorry, lass', he immediately calms down and holds my feet. 'I just hate to think about you being all alone in a jailcell.'

'I just didn't want Henry to know his father's a complete asshole', I say softly. Killian starts to softly massage my feet and I feel myself relaxing.

'Emma?' I hear him calling me after a few minutes of silence.

'Hmm', I hum back. I'm really sleepy from the footmassage.

'You're about to fall asleep, lass', he chuckles softly.

'So?' I turn on my side and close my eyes.

'Sleep well, love', he whispers softly. With the safest and warmest feeling that I haven't felt in a very long time, I fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

I was having the most pleasant dream before Killian woke me up. Killian and I were on a date. A really, really nice date. Where he took me to a nice restaurent and walked along the beach for hours. When he was to take me home, we went to his instead. That's where we kissed. And in my dream it felt so nice and real that I'm dissapointed to wake up. Until I'm fully awake. That's when panic sets in and I push away the happy feelings away.

'I made you breakfast', he says, his voice still a little hoarse from sleeping.

'Thanks', I murmer and get off the couch. Killian places his hand on my lower back as we walk towards the kitchen. The warmth of his hand travels through my entire body.

'Hot chocolate for the lass', he says smirking as he places the hot drink, including whipped cream and cinnamon, in front of me. As I take a sip, he places a plate with eggs, bacon and cheese infront of me. 'I hope you like it. I don't know what you usually take for breakfast…', he scratches behind his ear which tells me he's insecure.

'This is perfect, Killian. Usually I just take some cereal but this… is so much better', his face breaks out into a wide smile. He starts making a plate of his own and sits next to me at the counter. Breakfast is really nice like this. We talk, we eat and tell each other about what's ahead for today. The whole thing feels really domestic and natural. And for once I don't freak out. I can tell by Killian's body language that he feels the same. He acts really relaxed and isn't shy about the times he touches my hand or arm. And I don't flinch. Even return the gesture. Just by this extremely nice time with him I know this day will be okay, no matter what.

'Thanks for breakfast', I say as I open the front door of his house.

'I had a really great time, Emma', he says somewhat serious.

'Me too', I stand on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek, lingering just a little too long. His hand moved around my waist immediately. 'Bye', I whisper.

'Have a nice day, love', he says before he closes the door. My face break out in a smile. A huge one that won't come off. Not even when I walk inside Mary Margaret's place.

'That's one big smile you've got going on there', she says smirking. I roll my eyes and head upstairs to change. When I take my clothes off I smell the hint of Killian's home. I hold my t-shirt close and breath in the smell. The calmness scares me so much. I'm falling in love with my best friend and it scares the hell out of me. I sit on my bed in just my bra and jeans and start to think. I'm so lost in thought, I don't notice Mary Margaret coming in my room.

'Emma?' she whispers. I look up.

'What's wrong?' she sits next to me on the bed and wraps her hand around mine.

'I'm falling in love with Killian. That's what's wrong', I might as well tell her. Who else can I talk to?

'That's good, isn't it?' I shrug. 'I haven't seen you smile like you were just now ever. You're opening up a little, Emma. And believe me… I've known Killian for some time now and he looks at you like you hung the moon. He feels the same, Emma', she tries to reassure me.

'How can you be so sure?' I sound like a child.

'I think you know', she pushes gently. I nod. Of course I know.

'I can't believe I fell for him', I murmer softly.

'I can', Mary Margaret smirks. I playfully push her away a little.

'It's not funny!' I say. Mary Margaret just smiles.

'Talk to him some time, okay? Who knows what might be between you two', she squeezes my shoulder and leaves me to get dressed. It takes some time for me to actually start to move. All this time I'm thinking about Killian and how I'm going to tell him. Or not tell him. I'm going a little crazy right now. The only thing that starts to make sense in my mind is that I have to talk to Killian. And I have to do it now before I lose my courage.


End file.
